This week I have literally been to hundreds of different blogs, and with a majority of them I instantly saw problems of one sort or another that made me cringe. With the new wave of bloggers entering the ‘sphere I have seen people that write one of three types of content: content clearly designed for search engines, content for people, and blatant advertisements. Obviously out of these three choices, only one will actually help grow your visitor base, RSS subscribers, repeat commentators, etc. and I will allow you to take a guess which one it is!
Below are the top 15 ways to make sure that anyone that would normally be interested in what you have to say flee from your site and go elsewhere for their information. If you don’t believe me, simply try it yourself for a few weeks and see what it does to your site 🙂
- Start your post with a hoplink for a ClickBank affiliate product, this is always promising.
- Spend more than half your content asking your visitors to do things for you (email friends, social bookmarking submissions, comments, subscribe via email). *cough* You don’t mind, right?
- Don’t spell check your posts, tehre is no raeson y u need gud grammor to mak money on internet!!
- Don’t use paragraphs, people love to read solid chunks of text.
- Don’t include any links, images, bold/italics, or anything that might make people look at your website for longer than 7 seconds.
- Allow any comment to go unmoderated, everyone loves reading about various ED pills while they try to get their information.
- Include completely off topic posts, I love hearing about your love for beluga whales in your “internet marketing blog”.
- Don’t utilize social media, they are unlikely to click on your PPC ads so listen to the people on DigitalPoint that say that this traffic is therefore useless. No need to have actually interested readers.
- Decline all trackbacks, whenever somebody is interested in your blog and talks about it you should hide this fact from others while pissing off the other blogger.
- Make sure to divulge your hate for everything, everyone loves a blog that is simply a long rant.
- Go on internet marketing forums and say “Hey look, I found this awesome site: [insert site]!!!” while also having it in your signature, nobody will guess it is yours and make fun of it.
- Use pop-unders, pop-ups, and pop-overs as well as exit ads to get people to sign up for you affiliate products, because clearly people will appreciate this.
- Always hotlink images from other sites, especially ones that clearly visit your site as well, nobody would ever change the image to something incredibly offensive. While you are at it, make sure you have lots of dead pages (404) on your site.
- Lies! Make sure you lie to your readers as much as possible… I made $17 million today just by writing this blog post!
- Don’t offer any useful content, ever. All content should be written to make money or to help with Google. Useful content would never develop any links naturally, it must all be artificial.
There you go, it is just that simple. Follow these easy steps and you will be well on your way towards losing all of your RSS subscribers and daily visitors. Simply rinse and repeat, inserting a copy & pasted ad copy as your posts every once in a while and you won’t have to worry about people chewing up your bandwidth.