Why Digg Users Don’t “Digg” You

In one of my first posts on this blog, Using Social Bookmarking Responsibly, I talked about how people far too often abuse the system rather than work with it.  Lately I have been seeing more and more “Digg exchanges” both on Digg itself and various social blog networks such as BlogCatalog.  It isn’t quite to the point it was when DigitalPoint was running rampant with digg exchanges or the glory days or DiggBoss, but it also isn’t a pretty scene.

The thing I always find funny, is that the people that are trying to exploit this Digg traffic are typically submitting stories so far from the Digg base that it is comical.  I wish I could find one that I saw a month ago, because commentary on it would definitely make it to the front page.  It was a post a travel website that was about visiting Puerto Rico that randomly injected “We use Linux for our server and we love Obama AND Ron Paul!”, which at least shows they get the concept.

These are the reasons why your post will NOT make it to the front page of Digg, despite the fact that you would really like that:

  • Your post is plastered in affiliate links
  • You are a travel agency, cable company, fake rolex salesman, pharmaceutical company, or “mak mone on internet!” website.
  • You are far too obviously appealing to the Digg crowd by overstating your love for the current Digg fad.  (I love: Obama, Ron Paul, Linux, Macs, internet meme’s, hacking, microchips, Nader, Google, trashing Palin, sharks [don't ask me, lately that keeps making front page], Nvidia, dissing Fox News, video games, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, anti-creationism, people “fail.”ing).
  • You cannot consider your mastery of the English language to even be “conversational” (Kind of like how my roommate speaks “conversational Spanish” on his resume).
  • You don’t include one of the above topics.
  • You post something with no chance of going viral, you need quality content such as Sneezing Panda
  • You are over the age of 60
  • You are under the age of 15
  • You are part of either: “The Establishment” or “The Problem”
  • Your posts all include that really annoying embedded Digg button despite none of them being interesting
  • You smell like a Republican
  • You can’t recognize any of the top 100 Digg’ers
  • You are “too cool for school”
  • Nobody cares about what you are trying to get people to Digg, since it is bogged down in ads.
  • Most important of all: You actually don’t realize that this post is sarcastic yet true.

So there you have it, if you wish to see 75,000 visitors on your website so they can crash your servers and then point you towards a Digg post on why you shouldn’t use Windows hosting, study this list and make the necessary modifications.

*cough* And on that note: My Barack Obama.

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Comments

  1. Ahh yes, the twenty-something Democrat. I was there once, until I started making real money and things sort of changed for me. Not that I affiliate myself with either party, I don’t (I’ve voted in four presidential elections, twice for each party).

    This year, I’m one of those dreaded undecided voters. Yeah, I know, I should have my mind made up by now. I did have the opportunity to meet Barack a couple of months ago, it was pretty sweet. Check it out http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=119917&l=92ca7&id=1373786592 – The guy in the background with the sunglasses on his head – yeah, that’s me.

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